Hmm, where did I leave off last I wrote in this diary. I believe it was after recovering from the vampire, but before I grew too sick to write. So, last I left off, we had returned from a debacle where a vampire had attempted to murder us for no better reason than we were there… At least, that’s my story an im going with it. So, over the course of the evening, I began to feel like death incarnate. Amusingly, that’s because I had caught ghoul fever and was slowly becoming some abomination that would shamble around and eat people. Luckily, if I cant sleep, I know something’s wrong. So I bugged the only logical answer, poor little Lysander. To be honest, I’m lucky I bugged anyone at all, I felt terrible an I barely remember much about the whole thing. The same thing happened to Endolynn, so Lysander an the lads took us to a nearby temple and had them fix us. Seriously, vampires cost far too much money for this kind of stuff. We have burnt through so much gold in the last few days due to it trying to eat us and its stupid unholy pets. Gah. Good thing its dead eh.
That’s right, just blew my narrative payload early, but I’m in a bit of a rush so you only get a quick update today Ade. So, after recovering from our illnesses, we all set out to investigate and find this ruddy vampire. From what ive gathered, he was over 200 years old, and a nasty bugger to boot. Endolynn and Thamior spent a rather considerable time searching through libraries and talking to priests to find that out an because of their hardwork we approached the nasty monster with something akin to foreknowledge. An it paid off boobily bubcus for us. I kid you not, we knew we had to kill it, and destroy its coffin. We knew you could stake the ruddy things and itd do something, and that they hated Holy fire. You know what we didn’t know Ade, we didn’t know they could summon hordes of rats, or turn rooms into giant fire death pits. We turned up to the lair of this beast after some not inconsiderable effort (I may have started a panic and terrified many patrons of a swanky up town bar that charges far to much for its ale. However, I reserve the right to point out the owner deserved it) an the sod was waiting for us.
He was eating in his dining room, and when we confronted him he told us he would be waiting upstairs for us. So, daft as your mother Mary we wandered on up there and looked for him. Sure, we searched downstairs first, just in case it was a trap. Saw nothing though, so off we toddled. Checked a few rooms upstairs, an found a random thief drained an hanging from a roof beam. Not a pleasant sight but it could have been worse. Still, the last room we checked was the master bedroom. To us, it made perfect sense he’d be in there. It even smelt funny. Like nothing I’d ever smelt before. As we looked inside, we noticed the floor shiny, like it had something on it.
As I touched the torch to the floor, since I thought it might be some vile critter, it exploded into flames. Next thing I know I’ve stumbled half a dozen steps back to the stairs down and I’m being chased by flames. The heat of it was immense Ade, like some great hell beast was trying to swallow me whole. As we got to the stairs and headed down though, things got worse. The fire was quickly traversing the house, and at the base of the stairs was a swarm of terrible rats. I say swarm, but it was more like a horde. They were crawlin’ about, even crawling on each other. Just thousands of the blighters. An they seemed awfully intent on eating us too. Now, I don’t remember much of what happened next, but it involved lots of smashed walls and falling down stairs. It was all a frantic mess at the time, and not much better now. Still, we managed to escape the fires into the basement of the building. We felt momentarily safe, so we took the time to fix ourselves up.
The basement seemed rather bland, though with a bit of searching we avoided the death trap of doom (cant be sure what it was, as I said we avoided it) and found a secret door. Behind the door, obviously, was a secret room. Within the room was a woman, facing away from the door. Red hair, this woman didn’t move, and seemed almost like some dead thing. Obviously, we assumed it was some other spawn of the vampire lord that had been attacking us, so we approached it slowly. As we got closer, we discovered that it was Auraluna, the psycho that tried to murder anyone she didn’t like by locking them up in stone. Ironically, in her own secret basement. Anyway, she was in a bad way Ade, obviously drained, so close to death you could see the spirit leaving her body. Even as Jarvin tried to help her, it was obvious she was long gone. As I stood watching, I heard Thamior yell out “Vampire” an with that I did what any sane person would. I killed her, before she could kill us. What was I to do Ade, Thamior is a mage of some not inconsiderable power, an I trust his judgement more than mine on matters of the arcane. So, I killed an old lady. Yes we could argue over the semantics of who killed her, but it doesn’t make me feel any more clean about the whole thing. It was a mess, make no mistake. Still, it was one hell of a surprise to turn around and see Lysander stuck in the throes or mortal combat with the vampire we had been hunting.
Apparently, since closing the door had never helped before, Lysander figured that this time he would fight. So, when the vampire lord appeared in the doorway behind us, Lysander stabbed at it with his spear. Obviously, he missed, and the villain grabbed him and tried to drain him. So, in the hubbub we attempted to stab the vampire with a stake, and failed. Truly it was harder than it sounds. Eventually, I just clubbed the thing to death. It seemed to do the trick; so I followed the misty remains of the beast as it left the room. It lead us through a long cave that eventually spilled out into it’s lair. Its lair looked very familiar Ade. It had body shaped holes in the wall, and a table set up with a tea set. It even had an elevator in the corner. That’s right Ade, when Ceseli told me she had filled up the secret basement, she’d been lying. No, instead she’d leased it out to a terrible monster. The coffin was placed into the wall, and as the lord of the night’s misty remains settled into it, Endolynn torched it with her magic. I have never seen a blaze the like in all my life. Massive pillars of flame shot from her hands and wrapped the coffin, and it burst into flames. The beast exploded forth from the casket, burning and melting, and uttered its last words. In all honesty I was more taken up with the burning than what he said, but it boiled down to “how dare you, I’ve survived 200 years” and rounded out with a thud.
After that, we had to escape the basement. Sure, there was a big case of money in the mess, and all sorts of other stuff, but the meat of the story was in getting out alive. See, when we checked upstairs, poor little Barnsworth appeared. Terribly frightened, he thought we were going to burgle him, but he didn’t catch on to who it was. Trouble was, that meant we were stuck in the secret basement, with lots of sacks of gold and too much stuff to easily carry. Certainly too much to climb out of the elevator shaft with. So, we hatched a brilliant plan. I said brilliant, and I’m stickin’ to it. So, I took off all of my heavy gear, packed it up tight and left it with Jarvin, then sent them back to the other manor down the creepy cave. Honestly, I thought id have to dig them out but it turned out houses take longer than twenty minutes to burn down. Well, I know that now, but it didn’t seem feasible to me then. Look, no one said that I was the brightest light of civilisation all the time. Just most of the time. Anyway, while they wandered down the hallway, I had to do all the hard stuff.
Basically, with the lock to the Elevator picked thanks to Endolynn’s skills, I was able to sneak into the manor and then quickly go and dig out my fellows from under the collapsed building. That was the plan anyway. What actually happened was that Barnsworth was waiting for me upstairs. I had my festival mask on, so im sure he doesn’t know who it was, but I may have given the poor lad a bit of a fright that night. Anyway, as he recovered from his terror, I quickly darted out of the house. As I made my way back to the building, thinking id need to dig I collected a shovel from a garden shed on the way. Don’t look like that Ade, I returned it. Anyway, turns out, as you know, that the building was not a pile of rubble. No, it was a flaming inferno of fiery death, which I had to run into because my friends were stuck in it. Well, run into it I did. Well, about two steps. I knocked the door open ok. Then I yelled, and my fellows came up from the stairs, and made their way out. The last of them was Jarvin. Poor Jarvin, he always gets a bad end of a stick. In this case, a big heavy one that fell out of the roof. Big, heavy and flaming. So, with him trapped under the beam, I ran in to help. He was a big lad, so I tossed all of the packs and stuff that he had been carrying out front of the house. After that, he managed to lift the beam off of him a little bit. Apparently, it was heavy. I can see that. So, I hit it with my Hammer. It may have been heavy, but after that it was more like dust. Then we ran out of the building. The building may have collapsed as we left. I may almost have been crushed. I wasn’t though, so it’s ok. Right.
After that, we went back to the Badger and Hare. We slept, and awoke. We all woke early; we had much to do, and a wedding to attend in two days. Aye, a wedding. That one that we inadvertently set up. With the big bad evil guy, and the now we know big bad evil girl. Ironically, Ceseli even tried to contact us. Sent us an orphan with a message to come see her as soon as possible. We bribed him to get lost and not go back. We hope that worked, because honestly there’s too much that could go wrong with seeing her. I mean, she’s scary enough to have a pet vampire, and we could barely kill that. Plus, I like Barnsworth, and don’t particularly want to be responsible for the death of both his mistresses. Sure, she may be trouble. So is Felix, but the world survives him. I know this could all come back to bite us, but I won’t forget Ceseli the vampire tamer, and I won’t let her just wander free for eternity. Still, if we get locked up we won’t be able to help Lillavida, so were giving it a miss. Well go to the wedding, and then leave. That’s what I figured, and everyone agreed with me. So, that’s how it is. Even if this does sound more like I’m trying to convince myself than the imaginary person on the other end of this journal.
So, I’m writing this from the Smith On The Hill. I’ve got a cart full of crafting supplies to take with me, and I’m heading back to Longspear tomorrow to research my hammer an do a bit of shopping. An then, the day after well see Ceseli married and be done with this nonsense. So, to the next time I write you Ade, have a pleasant day.